"I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."

So recently this came up on my twitter feed.

 

And I got annoyed.

Maybe it's that I've been that concept more than a few times, but the whole thing made me.... hunting for the right word here. Not as strong as angry. Annoyed. A little frustrated. A bit of sigh, 'oh, this again.'

This blog post isn't really about calling this guy out. I wouldn't want to call him out or embarrass him. He seems like a neat person. Someone that if I knew in my real life might be interesting to be around. I'm projecting a bit there. I don't know him. But he seems he'd be worth giving a shot at friendship and he posts some cool things on twitter. Besides, for this rant to really fit, he needs to be one of the good guys that I think he is. So let's assume that.

Anyway, back to the picture. Incredible Hulk and nondescript woman who will save him with her love. (Presumably Betty Ross. Though Betty never does heal Hulk's rage or the comic would be over... but now I digress.)

The girl in that picture is not a person. She's a balm for a man's psychological hurt.
What happens to the relationship when that hurt isn't healed by this right woman? Because it won't be. Does this mean that she isn't 'right'? Does this mean he will find someone else who will fail him because his expectations can't be met by another human being? Does this mean that he keeps hurting himself and others in a continual search for that mythical object that will save him and make everything all right? Wouldn't the whole mess just cause more hurt and rage?

Where exactly does the real woman with her own rage and pain fit into all of this?

But what matters is also who posted it. A man who isn't sexist, would hate to be objectifying women, who might even be a feminist. That he would put something like that up means the idea of woman as object is that ingrained in our society. Even the men on our side can see us as something that is for their use. It's in movies and songs. 500 Days of Summer. Garden State. "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon. She is there to forward the man's growth and heal him. Her lines and part are an image and cliche advice that don't reflect anything she has or is going through.

Want to see the difference?

 And...

If our stories tell us who we are and inform us and validate us, then what does this say? We need more characters like Clementine, the ones with their own fears and feelings. Ones who can't even fix themselves, much less fix the man. The ones who are still figuring it out, the same as he is.